To make it look more like saria (even if it is a design concept) I think you should make her hair green instead. It would give it a more Saria-ish look.
It won't matter anyway, since the comic will be in black and white, but I'd rather show that she's a Saria-type character through her actions, not her design. Hopefully people will enjoy the comic more that way. Not that I have anything against odd hair colors! xD I strive to be original in all my fanfics and never copy-paste things from the source.
I say you should make her face a bit more feminine. She looks like a boy, and as you can't exactly draw her boobs, as Kokiri doesn't age, you should really make her face a little more girlish.